Proposal 101: How to Ask Someone to Marry You in the Most Memorable Way
January 17th, 2024 / Alese Oldenburg
If you’ve stumbled upon this post, you’re likely on the brink of one of the most significant moments in your life – the proposal. It’s a thrilling and nerve-wracking time, filled with the anticipation of taking your relationship to new heights. The journey from contemplating the perfect engagement ring to ensuring the proposal itself is unforgettable can be overwhelming.
We understand the mix of excitement and anxiety that accompanies such a monumental step. Whether you’re seeking guidance on proposal etiquette, looking for unique ideas, or feeling the weight of making the moment just right, rest assured, you’re not alone. In this comprehensive Proposal 101 guide, we’re here to be your trusted companion, offering insights and advice to help you navigate every aspect of this unforgettable experience.
From choosing the right engagement ring to crafting the perfect setting, we’ll delve into the essentials that will make your proposal not only memorable but also uniquely tailored to your relationship. So, take a deep breath, relax, and let us guide you through the journey of preparing and executing the perfect proposal. Don’t worry, with our assistance, you’re destined to create a moment that will be cherished for a lifetime.
The Proposal Basics
Get a Blessing Before or After Proposing
In the months leading up to your intended proposal, you might find yourself wanting to pop a different question – asking your spouse’s parents for their blessing. A tradition that is still very much alive, a 2015 survey from the Knot found that more than three-quarters of men ask for permission from their partner’s parents before they propose.
If you plan on asking for a blessing you’ll want to do so before you propose. In some ways, this part of the proposal journey can feel even scarier than the real deal. However, there are a few things that you can do to ensure that it goes smoothly.
First, schedule a time to talk, preferably in person or over the phone (do not have this important conversation via text message!). When the time comes, approach the topic with confidence. Have some talking points prepared so that you’re ready to answer any questions and don’t be afraid to gush about your feelings in the process. Be sure that you remain positive and respectful throughout the duration of your chat. After all, this conversation is typically seen as an act of respect so it’s important to keep your tone as polite as possible.
On the rare occasion that they say no, don’t freak out. You and your partner are adults and can choose to continue with your marriage despite the outcome. Try not to take offense and remain as polite as possible, how you react in this situation will be something that your partner and their family members always remember.
Buying Engagement Ring Before Proposing
While an engagement ring isn’t required to propose, most people purchase a ring before the big moment.
This leads us to another important component of the perfect marriage proposal puzzle – how to determine ring size. If you aren’t planning a surprise proposal you can simply visit a local jewelry store where they will happily assist you in finding your partner’s ring size. However, if a stealth proposal is part of your plans you’ll want to try a more secretive approach like asking a close friend or family member, snooping around in their jewelry box, or even measuring their finger using a piece of string.
Proposing Without a Ring
Yes, you can propose without an engagement ring, and this alternative approach can be both thoughtful and strategic. For those unsure about what to look for in an engagement ring, opting to propose without one allows couples the freedom to explore and decide on the perfect ring together, transforming the process into a shared adventure. Some couples also intentionally forego a ring, emphasizing the sentiment behind the proposal over a material symbol.
Kneeling When Proposing
While it seems pretty self-explanatory, believe it or not, there is kneeling etiquette when it comes to a marriage proposal. To understand this etiquette better we need to go back in history. Elizabeth Tulipana, a wedding planner and owner of Anticipation Events explains it like this, “Traditionally, getting on a bent knee is a sign of respect, honor, and surrender. If you were being knighted in Medieval times, you kneel in front of a queen to receive your award as a sign of respect.” Specifically, knights kneeled on their left knee.
While kneeling has historical significance, it is not mandatory for the proposed equation. However, be aware that many people will expect it during the romantic moment. In an interview with The Plunge, Michele Velasquez, owner of The Heart Bandits, a proposal planning company noted the following, “I have planned thousands of events for people of Hispanic, Middle Eastern, Indian, African, Australian, Asian, and European descent, and almost everyone does take a knee to propose.”
The Perfect Words for the Perfect Proposal
You reach for the ring box and get down on one knee, but what do you say? Of course any variation of, “Will you marry me,” will suffice, but if you really want to blow your partner away experts recommend following these five steps to craft the perfect romantic proposal speech.
- Write down what you want to say.
- Practice in front of a mirror.
- Don’t be afraid to get emotional.
- Honor tradition (If that’s what your partner wants).
- Build up to the big moment with a story.
Need some extra help thinking of what to say? Consider these prompts to get your creative juices flowing: What did you think when you first met them? When did you realize they were “the one”? What about them inspires you? What goals and values do you share?
Proposal Pitfalls: Avoid These Mistakes
Don’t Overcomplicate Things
Of course, you want a unique proposal but don’t get too wild that the focus is taken away from the main event, you and your love. Nerves run high during any proposal so, to keep things going smoothly, it’s best to stick to a relatively simple proposal plan. One of the most classic marriage proposal ideas is popping the question over dinner at a nice restaurant that your partner loves. Nowadays, proposal ideas at home are also a very popular option. If you do decide to incorporate more complicated elements make sure to practice first or have a backup plan so that you don’t spend precious moments worrying about the wrong thing.
Don’t Forget Your Partner’s Tastes
While the thought of a grand gesture like a flash mob or your faces illuminated on the big screen during a local sporting game might make your heart swoon, be sure to consider your partner’s preferences and personality when planning your proposal. If your loved one is more introverted, big scenes like these might feel more like a nightmare rather than one of the most romantic days of their life.
Unless your significant other has mentioned that they want a flashy proposal it might be best to stick with a more personal and intimate plan for your wedding proposal.
Don’t Forget to Record the Moment
In the age of technology, capturing the magic of the proposal has become an essential part of the experience. Beyond the ring, another valuable aspect is preserving the emotions and reactions of the moment. Consider enlisting the help of a friend, hiring a photographer, or even a videographer to immortalize the significant occasion. If a professional isn’t your preference, simply using your cell phone to snap a few pictures will serve as a cherished keepsake of the unforgettable moments right after your partner says “yes.” These captured memories will become timeless treasures that you can revisit and share for years to come, adding an extra layer of joy to your engagement story.
Don’t Forget the Ring
It may sound silly, but the significance of the ring in a proposal is undeniable. This symbol of commitment deserves a place of honor and should be kept in a secure yet easily accessible spot. Consider entrusting a close friend or family member with the responsibility of safeguarding the ring until the big moment arrives. This not only ensures its safety but adds an element of surprise, enhancing the magic of the proposal.
Don’t Be Nervous
It’s completely normal to feel a surge of nerves on the proposal day. Embrace the excitement! While nervousness is inevitable, strategic planning and preparation can help keep those jitters in check. Practice your proposal speech, visualize the moment, and focus on the love you share. Engage in activities that help you relax and clear your mind. Remember, your partner’s joy will overshadow any nerves, so embrace the butterflies and transform them into positive energy. Most importantly, don’t let anxiety talk you out of what could be one of the most beautiful moments in your life. Trust in your love, and you’ll undoubtedly shine in this unforgettable moment. You’ve got this!
When to Propose
First things first, things might not go exactly as planned, so don’t be afraid to go with the flow. Wait until the moment feels right and try not to get too stressed if things beyond your control get in the way.
Your partner might suspect that something’s up if your plans include something out of the ordinary like going on a trip or planning a fancy night out. If this is the case, consider creating a fake backstory to throw your partner off your trail. This will help you feel more relaxed and help keep things a surprise.
Of course, if you’re looking for the right time of year for that special moment, holidays like Valentine’s Day and New Year’s are popular choices. After all, nothing makes for a better gift than an engagement ring!
Next Steps: What After Proposal?
Now that the hard part is done it’s time to share your big news! Many couples take to social media to share a picture of the moment and their shiny new bauble. Of course, best friends and close family members will want to be in on the action so you might want to drop them a line first before disclosing your new engagement to the world.
While insurance might not be the most romantic thing, you’re going to want to get your engagement ring insured ASAP. And on the topic of rings, if it isn’t a perfect fit, now would also be the time to get the ring resized so that you don’t have to worry about it falling off if it’s just a bit too loose.
Then comes the wedding planning. Things book up quickly so it’s good to be proactive if you have your heart set on a certain date or location for your wedding day. After the engagement is the perfect time to start researching venues, determining a guest list, and budgeting for that special day. You can also start thinking about groomsmen, bridesmaids, and other elements of the wedding that might require some extra prep work.
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